Sunday, 23 March 2014

Worst Tickling in the World ---> SOLLETICARE

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This week I learnt a new Italian word:
SOLLETICARE.

It means:
TO TICKLE.


You know, like when you'd wriggle like a little worm when your mom or dad or crazy uncle Pat would tickle you when you were just a little kid.

   My dad would get me'n'my bro and tickle us to death. I mean, we would be gaspin'n'gaspin' for air. You know, like when your voice goes all goddamn hoarse and sounds like Darth Vader or Barry goddamn White just because you can't take anymore tickin'. That's what my Dad would do to me'n'my bro are a regular basis when we were little.


It was torture. Torture tickin' with his finger jabbin' non-stop into our neck, our armpits, our ribcage. He would call it "THE FINGER". He could pin both me'n'my bro down on the floor, one finger from one hand on me and one finger from the other hand on my bro. It was torture. We would cry. We would beg for him to stop. We loved every goddamn second of it. We would beg for more. If you could bottle that feeling and sell it you'd be a billionaire.


You'd squiggle like a little snake, and holler like a little pig but they'd carry on all the goddamn same laughing at you?

SOLLETICARE = TO TICKLE.

 It's been a super frustrating two weeks since this goddamn surgery. I'm not a patient patient that's for sure. I've needed to remain horizontal with the leg elevated. Every time standing up to go to the loo or make a goddamn cup of coffee the blood rushes down to the injury and just pumps'n'pumps PAIN into it like a madman pumping air into a rubber dingy on the beach. It makes it pretty much impossible to move at all or do anything.

 Every morning I need to inject a needle of Clexane into my stomach to reduce the chance of contracting deep vein thrombosis. I've done this 16 times now since the surgery and my little beer belly has gone'n'got all goddamn black, blue'n'bruised over somehow from the injections. It's pretty goddamn disgusting it really is. I was worried, so I even googled it and found some pretty goddamn shocking things regards this Clexane. But it's all safe - just unfortunately it's a necessity to prevent deep vein thrombosis, which can actually kill a person. I got 7 more injections to go. It's pretty goddamn serious it really is.



 




 

At least I've been able to count on some super good friends bringing me fruit & vegetables, and my girl's been here the last few days baking me up some tasty treats in the kitchen to take good care of me. Hell, I'm one lucky goddamn son of a gun I swear to God.

Friday, two days ago, I went to the hospital again for a few hours to get the wound cleaned and substitute the cast from the old plaster cast into a lighter fibreglass cast.
 Now, it's one more week that I need to keep it elevated and then I need to change the cast again for one that is possible to walk with, so to begin to put some weight on the ankle/foot.
 

I asked the doctor for some time-scales on when I could possible begin to exercise again (I'm really feelin' like one big ol' lazy soft fat cat during this goddamn recovery period, it's a pretty low, digusting feelin' I swear to God). He told me I can:

BEGIN SWIMMING:
2 months from surgery date
- this means attempt first swim 7th May


ATTEMPT FIRST JOG:
4 months from surgery date
- this means attempt first jog 7th July



This news kinda cheered me up a little bit. It means waiting just 6 weeks until I can go to the swimming pool and finally do a bit. Finally blow off some of the cobwebs.

Then this doctor , totally out of the blue, started rubbing solution all over my goddamn foot and ankle. No warning. Just like that. Stroking quickly this cold solution all over my foot and ankle and leg, and I didn't know whether to laugh or cry.



It was like the worst tickling in the whole goddamn world, because it made you twitch and laugh, but was super painful at the same time as you'd feel all your nerves and tendons respond to it and JOLT your goddamn foot all over the shop!!

We took a video and some photos to show you...

And that will be all until next time.
Ciao ciao ciao for now...


VIDEO:



PHOTOS:
 






 
 

















---------------------------------------- 
 
 I'm doing this to raise money for MIND - the UK's largest mental health charity.

You could donate by clicking this link:
www.justgiving.com/simonsrockyroad
 
 
 
1 in 4 people
will suffer from
mental illness.
 

It WILL affect you directly or indirectly at some stage of your life.

Let's help each other.

TOGETHER,

WE can save lives.
 

 
---------------------------------------- 
 
CONTACT:
SIMONSROCKYROAD@GMAIL.COM
 
 
----------------------------------------
 

Sunday, 9 March 2014

Prisoner in Pavia

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I was released from captivity at 19 o'clock on Saturday 8th March, following 36 hours of non-stop interrogation of my mind and manipulation, nigh torture of my goddamn body.

How many times can you ask a man if he is allergic to anything?

The indignity.

They shaved me. The whole of my right leg shaved totally bald. They left me with one leg like a chicken drumstick and the other like a goddamn yeti.



They drugged me senseless, sliced me open and carved me up inside. They probed a micro camera inside me and jiggled it around looking for floating bits of bone and cartilage that has become entwined in my tendons and ligaments.

They made me wee in a bottle.

And all of the above without Wi-Fi connection. For 36 hours.

The room was like a prison cell, with a griddled panel that looked like iron bars covering the outside world.

For 36 hours.

After the surgery, which took 3 hours, I was put on a drip which slowly injected me with morphine, antibiotics, and a solution containing electrolytes, potassium and magnesium.

They also put a pipe inside my leg/ankle which slowly drained away the internal bleeding. It was goddamn painful when they took that pipe out I swear to God.

I was on that goddamn drip and had that goddamn pipe inside my leg for 24 long hours.

It was like an ultra marathon.

Just keep going.

Believe.

Keep moving forward.

Never never never never never give in.

Hour after hour.

Until Magic Moira and her Marvellous Mum came to pick me up! Magic Moira had even been shopping to buy me loads of fresh fruit & vegetables (and Goji berries!). Man, I am lucky to have some really amazing friends. Love to Moira, Fabio, Miwa and Morgan (and MoiMoi's Mum!!). GRAZIE MOIMOI!!!

Grazie anche to Katia for giving me a lift to the hospital!!

Of course I'm being facetious about the goddamn surgery. I've been super lucky to get connected to an incredible surgeon, Prof. Francesco Benazzo, widely regarded as the best orthopaedic surgeon in Italy. His surgery is in Pavia, approx. 30 mins from Milan. Prof. Benazzo fixed the knees of Balotelli and Ronaldo (the fat one) and works with the Italian Olympic team. Thank you Stewart of Inter Milan FC for making this connection, sincerely: GRAZIE MILLE STEWART!!

Prof. Benazzo
has the aura of Yoda...
Honestly, I felt totally safe in his presence and you can almost touch the respect in the air that he earns from his staff. It's as if he uses the force like a Jedi knight.



All the team of doctors and nurses were lovely with me during my 36 hours in captivity - GRAZIE to all of you.


WHY I NEEDED SURGERY?

Chronic laxsity of the ankle,
causing not just instability but very painful instability - this was done long before 2013 , even before I started long distance running, way before I did NY to Philly - meaning I am/was susceptible to roll-over my ankle even when walking in the street - just not stable enough even to walk - it was a matter of time before I did something serious like a torn ligament because there's basically no strength left in the ankle

Arthritis
in my right ankle , probably my left ankle too - worsening over the last 5-10 years

Osteoarthritis
degenerative joint disease

Damaged cartilage
in fact, I basically have no cartilage left in my ankle meaning basically the bones touch (and hurt) against each other when walk/run

Flakes of bone & cartilage
entwined in the ligaments & tendons from numerous sprains, fractures and tears from playing soccer over the last 15-20 years

Cavity in my ankle
a hole in the bone - in my right ankle where the tendons and ligaments have been ripped away from the bone - this also was done long before 2013

-

All the above done before 2013

-

Achilles Tendonitis
small signs, after-effects of achilles tendonitis which had basically almost healed after bad tendonitis in April 2013

Torn ligament
fresh injury - done in November 2013


-

The doctor said I have the ankles of a 70 year old man, and basically it was a goddamn miracle that I ran those 100 miles from New York to Philadelphia back in April 2013 for my bro's birthday.


WHAT DID THEY DO?

  • REPAIRED RUPTURED LIGAMENT
  • CLEANED FLAKES OF OLD BONE/CARTILAGE FROM TENDONS/LIGAMENTS
  • TOOK PART OF BONE FROM ONE SIDE OF ANKLE TO REPAIR THE CAVITY ON THE OTHER SIDE
  • "STABILISED" THE ANKLE

WHAT NEXT?

I'm in a plaster cast for 3 weeks, and need to stay at home to rest and keep the foot elevated to reduce swelling. I cannot put any weight on my right leg during this period.

Then, after 3 weeks, I will return to hospital and have another cast put on my leg that will remain for another 3 weeks. But during the 3 week period with the second cast I will be able to put weight on it and walk around fairly normally.

After these 6 weeks in plaster cast I will begin a period of physiotherapy.

By June/July I hope to complete my first 1 mile jog in over 8 months.


WHAT THIS MEANS FOR SIMON'S ROCKY ROAD?

I do not know.
Yet.





 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 



 

---------------------------------------- 
 

I'm doing this to raise money for MIND - the UK's largest mental health charity.

You could donate by clicking this link:
www.justgiving.com/simonsrockyroad
 
 
 
1 in 4 people
will suffer from
mental illness.
 

It WILL affect you directly or indirectly at some stage of your life.

Let's help each other.

TOGETHER,

WE can save lives.
 

 


---------------------------------------- 
 
CONTACT:
SIMONSROCKYROAD@GMAIL.COM
 
 
----------------------------------------